


An Injured Heart

by TCIsBestPony



Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Injured Benedict Cumberbatch, Soldier Benedict Cumberbatch, World War 1, World War I
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-02-24 17:41:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2590448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TCIsBestPony/pseuds/TCIsBestPony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben has been away fighting in World War I but is forced to return home when he is involved with a bomb in No Mans Land. Can he rememeber his life before the war before his fiance decides enoughs enough?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [recurringdreams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/recurringdreams/gifts).



Ben POV

It was cold. Only cold. The freezing and harsh bite of the wind was all that was keeping me awake, numbing the pain in my leg. I couldn’t hear or see anything, just the cold. The rain thrashed against my face, forcing me to keep my eyes shut. There was no let up. In the distance I could hear my men shouting and yelling, the bombs and firing around us but it was so muffled I couldn’t make anything specific out. I just lay there in the dirt, letting the rain attack me, hoping the darkness would just hurry up and take me, let me return to my loving fiancé back at home.  
Kirsty. Kirsty. She filled my thoughts so quickly when my mind decided to remember her name. Her long, flowing, brown hair that I so loved to play with in front of the fire. Those beautiful eyes that lit up whenever I smiled at her. Her body that I craved to touch, but I knew I couldn’t until our wedding night. We had promised each other to marry the day I returned, I would sweep her up and take straight down to our local church and take her as my wife finally after a year of being engaged. I never imagined the war would last this long.   
In her last letter she told me about how our friends had gotten married on his return home for a couple of weeks. He had broken his arm and was sent home to heal before returning to the front. She told me everything about the ceremony, the dress, the flowers, all the details that didn’t truly matter but it soothed me in my shelter in the trenches. It warmed me up inside knowing our friends who were truly destined to be with each other had finally made those vows. I knew it wouldn’t be much longer until a child was in the picture.   
I smiled, and a regretted it. That one smile shocked my body into consciousness again. The pain seared through me like a hot knife in butter. I screamed as loudly as I could as a couple of my men leaned over me. I felt hands all over and suddenly felt airborne. Kirsty. Please my love. Come back to me. 

Kirsty POV  
It had been weeks and weeks since his last letter. He always wrote to me, every week we got a letter. Sometimes we wrote so often we got lost in what each other were saying and which question we were answering but that didn’t matter to me. All that mattered was he was alive and well. Every letter meant his heart was still beating. But when the postman said there was nothing my heart sank. Naturally I thought the worst, that I had lost him. My best friend did come round when I didn’t leave the house for several days, assuring me that as long as the army haven’t sent me anything he’s just fine. That helped for a bit, until a man in uniform knocked on my door.   
“Miss?” he asked as I pulled the door open warily.   
“Y-yes?” I responded, clinging onto my friend, Heather, as tightly as I possibly could.  
“Letter from your fiancé’s regiment captain” he said, handing me a small envelope.   
I swallowed hard as I took it and handed it over to Heather.  
“Thank you” I said swiftly, shutting the door on the gentleman.   
Heather helped me over to his armchair and sat me down. I couldn’t open it. I just couldn’t. He was dead. I had lost the only man I had ever truly loved. The only man I wanted to marry. The only man I wanted to bear children with. And he was gone. Tears strolled down my cheeks as H opened the letter for me, knowing I couldn’t do it. I braced for those words I had dreaded every day.  
“He’s alive” she said. My head jerked up.  
“What?!” I asked, in utter shock.  
“He’s wounded quite badly but he’s alive Kirsty, he’s ok” she smiled and showed me the letter.  
“In a bomb attack, went over the top” I skimmed “wounded, but alive. H, his leg….it says they had to amputate”  
“He’s ok though darlin’, he’s alive and he’s coming home!” she smiled, stroking my arm “yes he may have lost his leg but he’s got his life! Be thankful for that darlin’!”   
“B-but how’s he going to walk down that aisle?” I asked selfishly.  
“He’s alive!” she said again “He’s ok” she knew how to calm me down.  
“He’s alive, he’s ok yeah, we can still get married, yeah” I took slow deep breaths as she stroked my arm gently.  
“I’ll make a cup of tea and you better get washing those bed sheets of yours, your fiancé is coming back to you, don’t want him to come back to dirty sheets” she chuckled as she headed into the kitchen.   
The house was a mess, she was right. I needed to clean. I had no idea when he was coming home so I needed to clean as much as I could now. I stood quickly but heard H shout from the kitchen.  
“Sit back down, have some tea first before you go off cleaning every single thing in the house” she said.  
I sat back down and curled up, reading the letter again. He was alive, and safe.

Ben POV

I slowly began to wake as I heard female voices around me. I looked around as best as I could from the cot I was in. My head was spinning, but that was nothing compared to the pain in my leg. What the hell had happened to me? Why was in a cot surrounded by women? No wait, they were nurses. I was injured? I must be, I thought as I tried to sit up. A nurse quickly came over and pushed me back to lie down.   
“You must rest sir, you’ve been through a lot and need some more sleep” she said kindly.  
“I want to know why I’m here” I demanded.  
“You’re in hospital sir, England” she said.  
“No I asked why, not where” I was getting annoyed, but had no idea why.  
“You were injured on the frontline, a bomb went off and we had to amputate your leg, you’ve been unconscious for several days now but thankfully you’re healing nicely enough to wake” she said, smiling slightly.   
“I…I lost my leg?” I asked,  
“Yes, there was too much damage to save it I’m afraid sir, but it is healing very nicely. The bleeding has stopped but the bandages will need to stay on for a bit longer” she explained. I nodded, feeling terrible about my leg but knowing I was thankful for my life. I was on the frontline and some people I saw lost more than just a leg. Although this scar would heal, the mental ones probably would never heal.  
“I’m guessing I don’t need to go back to the front?” I knew I would go back if they needed me to but with only one leg I knew that might be difficult.  
“No, they’re sending you home sir, home to Somerset”   
“How much longer until then?” I asked, just wanting to get home already.  
“A few more days, just want to make sure you’re eating alright first and everything else then you can go” she smiled “you’ll get to see you friends again and that lovely fiancé again” she winked.  
“My fiancé? I don’t have a fiancé”


	2. Chapter 2

Ben POV  
Why on earth did she say Fiancé? I didn’t have a fiancé, I’m sure of it. The nurse looked shocked at my response and went to fetch a doctor who promptly started asking me random questions about my home and family. I answered each easily but I seemed to answer my fiancé ones wrongly. Ok, if I was supposed to marry someone who could it be? Well, obviously a woman. Heather? No, she was head over heels in love with Thomas, she wouldn’t leave him for me. And another reason is I didn’t feel anything for her. But for some reason it did feel like something, or someone, else missing from my thoughts. Every time I tried to remember, I hit a very hard brick wall, a hard on at that. I sighed heavily as I lay back down once the doctor and nurse had left me be. Who was she? I wanted to know.

Kirsty POV  
I think I had cleaned the house for several days before I finally had a date for Benedict to me returning to me. Tomorrow. Tomorrow was the day he would come back to me and I couldn’t wait to throw my arms around him again. To kiss him. To sit by the fire with him. I just wished it would hurry up. H kept me entertained thankfully, even if it was with letters from Tom, saying his next return isn’t long off. She spoke so animatedly about him and it made me smile. She was so in love with him, just like me and my Ben, it felt nice to know we were all still together after these long years of friendship. And that it would last for the rest of time.  
Eventually, we did go into the town centre to pick up our rations and our topic changed to how the animals were doing. We both missed all the horses she had to give up for the war but thankfully she did manage to keep a couple. Being on a farm did have it’s good points for H, but the war certainly took its toll. One horse being mine and Ben’s favourite, grumpy old Badger. Big, grey, plough horse who got in a grump if someone didn’t give him a carrot. I smiled to myself at the memory of me and Ben meeting him and Badger planting his hoof onto Ben’s foot. It meant I had to look after Ben for the rest of the week. It was the best week of my life.   
I was happily discussing that story with H when I saw the jeep pull up in the town square. I turned and watched it park as H continued to chit chatter away to herself. Something was pulling my attention to the jeep. Something tugged at my heart. As I walked out of the ration shop, I headed in the direction of the jeep as someone I recognised stepped out. Ben. Tears formed in my eyes as he stepped out carefully from the car and onto crutches. He was alive! The army hadn’t lied to me. I was about to rush over to him when I sensed something wrong. His face…his eyes more precisely, they were so blank, vacant. The shine that he had wasn’t there. No smile formed when he looked round the town square. And no recognition of me. I felt Heather join me as she placed her hand on my shoulder.   
“Go over to him” she whispered with a smile.  
“He doesn’t remember” I said.  
“How do you know?” she asked.  
“His eyes, they’re not my Ben’s eyes H, he’s not there” the happy tears had now formed into fear and sadness as they dripped down my cheek. H sighed and took my hand, leading me over to him.  
“Heather! Thank goodness!” He said, clearly recognising her, but not me.  
“Ben, don’t you think you’re forgetting about Kirsty?” she asked, sort of presenting me to him.  
“Kirsty…oh is this Kirsty?” he asked, turning to me.  
“Yes, this is your fiancé of a year Benedict” she replied kindly. Something sparked in his eyes but it didn’t last long. He reached out and took my hand gently in his, out of kindness, not love. Maybe even pity.  
“My lady Kirsty, I do sincerely apologise but, the war hasn’t been kind to me, I’m sorry but I don’t remember you” he said, his eyes locked on mine. I almost broke down. I had lost him. Even though his body was there, what made him my Benedict was lost. “I am sorry Kirsty, I truly am, but I do believe that what the nurses and my boys have been saying is true, that I did once love you deeply and utterly. I hope that maybe, you’ll be able to show me that love, and maybe I’ll remember what we once had. Will you be willing to help me?” he asked.   
I did. I wanted to shower him with all the love I could possible give, but I was just so distraught I took my hand out of his and ran home, tears pouring from my eyes as I ran. I had lost him, the only man I ever wanted was gone.

Ben POV  
I stared after Kirsty as she ran from my sight. I felt terrible, even though it wasn’t my fault directly. I swallowed hard as I looked at H.  
“What do I do? I can’t remember her” I said, close to tears but having no idea why.  
“You do remember her Ben, I can tell you do, you just got to give her some time. She has just realised that you don’t recall her, at all” she said, taking my hand in hers. “You’re alive, and yes you have lost your memory, but I know that the love you two had, you can’t forget that easily”  
“I can’t?” I asked.  
She shook her head firmly at me “No, it’s like me forgetting Thomas, it just can’t happen, and obviously if it does, I know it won’t be long until we rekindle it again” she smiled as she usually does when she used to reassure me, just like before I went off to war.  
“What do I do? I want to remember I truly do!” I argued.  
“I know you do, but first, give her some time, come round to mine for some tea then we can start trying to trigger that mind of yours ok?” she smiled again, leading me down to her farm house.   
I don’t know how long it would take, or how much pain and frustration it would cause, but I would remember her. She would be mine again.


	3. Chapter 3

Ben POV  
It had been two days since I had last seen Kirsty. Heather had thankfully let me stay at her farm for the past couple of nights but I knew I would need to go and face Kirsty one day or another. Today was going to be that day. No matter what, I would at least try to see her. I knew it was just my head that couldn’t remember, as my heart always went a flutter when I thought of her face. My heart knew her and that was enough for me.   
After breakfast, I pulled on my boots and headed into town. I couldn’t recall where I lived but I was sure I could start to retrace Kirsty’s steps from the town square. Everyone greeted me when I arrived, some I knew some were a blur. Either way I greeted politely but kept moving. I bought a small bunch of flowers from the florist and tried to find where Kirsty had rushed off to a couple of days ago. I followed the dirt path nervously, the crutches did get in the way a bit but I had gotten the handle of them quickly. I admired the view as much as I could. The fields that surrounded me were truly beautiful, the small river not far from the path was also stunning. Although the views were gorgeous, it made me angry at the Germans for wanting to ruin this country, to make it its own. I sighed heavily as I found myself upon a lovely little cottage with a crop field behind it. Something felt familiar so I guessed this was mine and Kirsty’s house. I hobbled up the path and gently knocked on the door. As I stood and waited, I looked round the exterior of the property. The stone was white wash with a thatched roof, what most cottages round here were like, but on this one there was ivy slowly growing up the brickwork. It must have been planted not long ago as it only covered the below the first set of windows. I jerked back when the door finally opened.   
I smiled kindly at the woman who was in front of me. I had to force myself to keep it on as she came into the morning light more. She looked exhausted. Her eyes red from crying and general fatigue was all over. I did want to just hold her tightly but I knew I couldn’t.  
“Good morning Kirsty, I erm bought you some flowers, H said you liked these so thought I would them for you” I smiled a bit more.  
“Thank you, didn’t have to but…” she said.  
“I wanted to, I want to get to know you again Kirsty, I do, I knew my heart knows you I just want my head to as well, please? Can I at least come in for a bit?” I asked a little too eagerly.  
“Sure, if…if you want” she moved back inside the house, letting me follow. As I did, I bumped my head on the small door, making her smile slightly. “You did that the first time we looked at this place, said we needed to get it fixed if we bought it”  
“I’m guessing we never did?” I smiled as I rubbed my head.   
“No, we never got round to it, the war kind of got in the way” her smile faded as she sat back in a big armchair. I stood awkwardly, still next to the door. She saw and quickly stood, brushing the chair. “I’m sorry, this is your chair, I’m so sorry”  
“Don’t worry, you sit there, I’ll take this chair” I hobbled over to what I guessed was her chair. I lowered myself gently down and sat back as she relaxed back in mine. As I placed my crutches against the back, I smiled at her. “Thank you for letting me in”  
“That’s ok, you live here too” she said, playing with her dress.  
“So erm, are you ok with me trying to remember? I know it’s going to be hard, and most probably painful for you but I do want to try at least” I said sincerely.  
“I want you to try too, but the chances of you gaining your memory back is very slim” she said doubtfully.  
“I understand that but I’m willing to give it a shot if you are” smiling I sat forward a bit “Also, I understand that seeing the man you love without one of his legs is probably a horror to see too, and for that I apologise”  
“That’s nothing Ben, I don’t care about the leg, I wouldn’t have cared if you lost both of them, and your arms, what I cared the most about you, your mind, your memories, that’s what I didn’t want to lose” she said, tears forming again in her eyes.   
“Please don’t cry love, please don’t” I tried to reach for a tissue for her but instead I knocked my crutches to the ground, knocking the table over in the process. “I’m so sorry!” I tried to reach for my crutches, but she beat me to them.  
“It’s ok Ben, I’ll always forgive you” she handed me my crutches back. I took them and quickly grabbed her hand.  
“Please?” I asked.  
She sighed and knelt beside the chair.   
“Of course I’m willing to try my love, if there’s the smallest chance I can get you back, I’m willing to take it.” She kissed my hand gently and I smiled down at her.  
“Thank you, so, where do we start?” I asked, kissing her hand in return.  
“Why don’t we start small? Photographs are always a good start” she smiled and stood up, heading over to the cabinet in the corner. She opened a draw and fished out a small box, clearly this was our photograph box. As well as the box, she also took down some framed photo’s from the fire’s mantelpiece. She came back over to me, kneeling where she was before. I shook my head and patted my lap. My heart wanted this, my head as confused and felt a bit uncomfortable at the idea, but I trusted my heart. She blushed deeply, making that very heart race away again. Very carefully, she placed herself in my lap and I looked down at the box in her hands.  
“Is this our photograph box?” I asked.  
“Yes, every photo we want to keep but not frame goes in here, then we keep it safe in that drawer over there” she opened it slowly, presenting me with the first one on the pile. “This is me and you, when we were at school together in the village over the hill from here”  
“We grew up together?” I asked.  
“Kind of, we went to the same school for a couple of years but my family moved over here and we didn’t see each other for a little while” she explained “It wasn’t long until the two schools had a sports day a couple of years later and we met again. We all made friends, me, you, Heather and Thomas, and we all promised that every weekend we would meet down at the river to hang out and play”.  
This made me positive. All of the things she was saying rang true somewhere in my mind. It all sounded familiar, like a story my mother used to tell me. I smiled and happily listened to the rest.


End file.
